


Oh My Love, You're My Love, Yes I Swear By Stars Above

by oceanbones



Category: Achievement Hunter, Roosterteeth - Fandom
Genre: Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 11:14:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanbones/pseuds/oceanbones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Gavin wears lady clothes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh My Love, You're My Love, Yes I Swear By Stars Above

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for classic horror movies. Warning for butt sex between dudes. Also I have no idea what vehicles any of them drive, and I don't know if Gavin owns a Gamecube. Assume that Michael lives alone and isn't married to Lindsay for the sake of the story.

There’s something wrong with Gavin – he’s acting strange. He’s lost his easy, carefree demeanor and adopted a strained, distant one instead. And Michael doesn’t like it. He misses his best friend. At first, he figured maybe he’d just been raging too hard on the poor guy. But even since he stopped, nothing’s changed. It’s been three weeks of sad, mopey-Gavin and Michael wants normal, happy, annoying-Gavin back. At least, he thinks he does.

So he decides to lure Gavin into his car one day during lunch so he can figure out what the hell is going on. Not that they don’t usually eat together anyway, but this time he situates things so it’s just the two of them. He tells the other guys he needs to talk to Gavin in private, so they all go for lunch with each other and leave Michael and Gavin alone in the office.

“Gav,” Michael says, maybe ten minutes after they’ve left. “I’m starving. Come to McDick’s with me.”

“Sure,” Gavin complies, eyes still fixed on his computer screen.

“Well let’s go then, dickhead.”

He clicks around a few more times and signs out. “Where’s everyone else gone?”

“Dunno. Must’ve taken lunch early.”

“Hm.”

“Come on,” Michael prods, grabbing the car keys off his desk.

Gavin stands and shrugs on his hoodie.

They decide on the drive-thru and order basic burger-and-fry meals. When their burgers are half-eaten, Michael speaks up.

“So you’ve been acting kind of out of it lately,” he says, getting straight to the point. “Something wrong?”

Gavin scrunches his nose, confused. “No?”

Michael looks at him skeptically. “No?”

Gavin cocks an eyebrow and removes the sandwich from his mouth mid-bite. “No,” he repeats. “Why would you think there was?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Michael says sarcastically, thumbing a tomato seed from the corner of his mouth. “Maybe because you’re obviously fucking depressed?”

“Michael,” Gavin says defensively. “I’m not–”

“Shut the fuck up, Gavin.”

He closes his mouth.

“I’m your best friend, okay? I can tell. God, anyone can tell.”

Gavin looks down at his lap tiredly, picking at a piece of lettuce.

“You can trust me, you know. I’m here for you, Gav, and if you’re hurting I wanna help you.”

Gavin sighs. “It’s not that easy, Michael. It’s not something I can just talk about.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing and stupid and. I don’t…I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s like I’m making myself depressed, and I don’t have to be but I’m making life harder for myself because I’m weak.”

“I’m not really following, Gav,” Michael confesses. “Why are you weak?”

“Because I give into these urges and it’s so fucking stupid. I have no willpower.”

“Gav,” Michael says worriedly. “Are you…is it drugs?”

“No,” Gavin shakes his head. “Nothing like that.”

Michael nods. “Okay. So what _is_ it like?”

“It’s like…this thing that I’m…interested in, I guess. And I know I shouldn’t be because it makes me a freak, but. I can’t help it. It makes me happy. I don’t know how to stop wanting it.”

Michael looks thoughtful as he crumples up his burger wrapper and chucks it to the floor. “So it makes you happy, right?”

Gavin nods.

“But you’re trying to stop wanting it, and that’s making you unhappy?”

“I guess so.”

Michael shrugs. “Sounds kind of backwards to me.”

Gavin lets his head fall back against the seat.

“Look, all I’m saying is you can’t deny who you are. If this thing is part of you, maybe it’s not so bad.”

“But it _is_ , Michael. You don’t understand.”

“So how ‘bout you explain it to me?”

Gavin shakes his head. “You’d never talk to me again.”

“Gav,” Michael sighs, “I’m only gonna say this once: You are my very best friend and nothing you ever do can change that. You could kill a man and it wouldn’t make any difference.” He searches Gavin’s eyes cautiously. “So just tell me, okay?”

Michael can tell Gavin’s thinking hard, can see the wheels turning in his head. A long minute passes before either of them says anything.

Gavin presses a French fry between his fingers and glances up at Michael. “You really won’t judge me, then?”

“Did you hear a thing I just said?”

Gavin looks at his feet.

“Let me put it this way: is it worse than murder?”

“No….”

“Is it at least as bad as murdering someone?”

“No, but–”

“Then I can handle it.” Michael gives him a reassuring smile.

Gavin nervously digs some squished potato out from under his fingernails. “I…” he starts, voice hoarse and tight. And then he blurts it out all at once. “I wear women’s clothes. I mean…sometimes I go down to Target and buy a skirt or something and take it home. And then I’ll wait for a day when Geoff and Griffon and Millie are out and I’ll lock myself in my room and try it on and just wear it till they get back.” He pauses to take a breath. “It’s not…I’m not transgendered or anything. I mean, I like being a guy, but I just. I like feeling beautiful sometimes, too.” He glances over at Michael and hides his face in his hands. “God, I feel like such a freak.”

“Gav, no,” Michael objects. “You’re not a freak. It’s totally normal to want that.”

Gavin groans. “You’re only saying that so I won’t feel like such a weirdo.”

“Come on, Gavin, you know me better than that. I don’t sugar-coat things. I’m the most brutally honest person we know.” Michael gives him a hard stare. “So stop being embarrassed and look at me.”

Gavin tentatively lifts his head, cheeks warm and flushed.

“Do you know why you’re my best friend?” Michael says seriously.

Gavin purses his lips and waits.

“Because I like you. Granted, you do some annoying shit sometimes, but still. I like who you are. And if dressing like a lady is part of that, then I love it, too.”

Gavin carefully searches his eyes for any sign of a lie. There isn’t.

“It’s not a big deal, dude,” Michael smiles. “You’re still my boy, annoying as you are.”

Gavin cracks a grin, relieved laughter bubbling inside him. “I, uh,” he chuckles. “Thanks.” But he’s completely sincere when he says it.

“Anytime, Gavino.”

And then they finish their food and drive back to the office and it’s not such a big deal after all.

It doesn’t come up again for a while after that. It’s a few weeks later and Michael and Gavin are the only ones left at the office, staying late to edit their respective Roosterteeth videos. They talked and joked in the first hour, but now they’re mostly focused on finishing up so they can get home.

“So, Gav,” Michael says offhandedly, breaking the silence. “You take my advice?”

“Hm?”

“About the lady-dressing stuff.”

Gavin takes his hand off the mouse and turns to face him. “…What?”

“I told you denying who you are would only make you depressed.”

“Yeah….”

“I’m just saying,” Michael shrugs. “You look a lot happier to me.”

Gavin’s forehead creases. “Are you asking me if I’ve been…doing it again?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Oh.” He clears his throat. “Er, yeah? Yes, I have.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Gavin nods, his cheeks burning.

“So do you feel any better?”

“A bit.”

“A bit?”

He shrugs. “Yeah.”

Michael frowns. “Gavin, you’re not a freak–”

“I know, I know,” Gavin interrupts. “You’ve made that clear.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

He sighs. “It’s…weird. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Don’t tell me you actually went out and killed a guy,” Michael says worriedly, “because I’m not burying the body for you.”

“No, you doughnut,” Gavin laughs. “Nothing like that.”

Michael smiles. “Then it can’t be so bad, right?”

Gavin bites his lip. “I just…I feel like I don’t have the right body to…do what I’m doing. I mean, it looks silly on me.”

“I bet that isn’t true.”

“It is,” Gavin insists.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well you should.”

“Then show me.”

“I–…. What?”

Michael looks back at his computer screen and starts clicking around. “Show me how pretty you look. I want to see if I’m right.”

“Um…” Gavin swallows hard.

“I’ll come over one day when Geoff and Griff and Millie are out, and you can show me then.”

Gavin doesn’t say anything.

It’s quiet for a minute before Michael speaks up again. “So how’s the secret room doing? It all full of tears again?”

And then Gavin laughs and rolls his eyes and they fall back into easy, companionable conversation while they finish their work.

* * *

 

Gavin divides the next few days equally between anxiously gawking at himself in the mirror and hoping that the Ramseys suddenly become hermits. He’s not sure why he didn’t just tell Michael no. _Nah, man, sorry. I’m not comfortable with that._ And it would have been done, nothing to stress over. But something made him hold his tongue, and now all he can do is worry about the inevitability that eventually his American family is going to want to spend some time outside of their house.

It’s maybe four days after their late-night conversation when Michael brings it up again. Or at least, sort of.

“Hey, Gav. I’m coming over later,” he announces in the middle of a Let’s Play. Gavin’s not sure if he imagines the meaningful tone in his voice. “I’ll pop by around six?”

He chews his lip nervously. “Yeah, sure.”

Michael smiles and goes back to mining.

By the end of the day, Gavin’s a jittery mess. Geoff drops him at home and suddenly, he realizes this is real. It’s actually happening. And he has no idea what to expect from Michael. Was he even meaning for Gavin to do this today? Would it be a big deal if he just didn’t? But a part of Gavin _wants_ Michael to see him that way, wants Michael to think he’s pretty. Admittedly, he isn’t sure why.

Either way, he gathers up his courage while it’s still there and heads to the bathroom to get this underway. He starts with a shower, using some girly-scented shampoo and conditioner packets that came in one of Griffon’s magazines and a can of shaving cream he bought on his own. _How far should I take this?_ he wonders, palming the lid of the aluminum can. _Is this too much?_ But if he’s going to do this, he decides, he’s got to do it right. Once he’s got a lather going on his legs, he uncaps a razor he’d snagged from Griffon earlier and gently guides it over the skin. He goes over his chest and under his arms, too. And when he steps out, he shaves his beard.

When he feels adequately fresh, he moves to his bedroom. He sits unsure on the bed, wondering what he should wear. His small selection of women’s clothes includes a pair of khaki short-shorts, a denim skirt, a few low-cut, spaghetti-strap shirts, two pairs of skinny jeans, and a navy cardigan. Since he’s mostly been focusing on ignoring this kink, he hasn’t really been in the mindset of gathering supplies. It’s probably too warm for pants, so khaki shorts it is, and he’s too self-conscious not to wear the cardigan. He settles on a powder-blue shirt to go underneath and moves on to a bra and panties. He knows Michael won’t actually see any of that, but still. No point in half-assing it now. All he has are two pairs of boy shorts and one bra, cream-coloured and soft and small but still good. He chooses his lacy cream underwear to go with it, and does his makeup half-dressed.

He doesn’t put on much, doesn’t want to look like a painted whore. On his lips, he applies the smallest hint of peachy lip gloss, and blends some brown and pink and white shadow onto his eyelids. Then he steals some perfume from Griffon and gets dressed. Instead of using his usual styling products, he lets his hair fall flat. And rather than wear dainty jewelry, he slips on a simple silver ring and the creeper necklace Michael got for him.

When he’s all finished, he critiques himself in the mirror and figures that’s really the best he can do with what he has to work with. Now all he has to do is wait. It’s only about six o’clock, so he kills the time by watching TV and chewing a hole in his bottom lip.

At just after seven, there’s a knock on the door and Gavin shakily gets up from the couch to go answer it. He looks through the peephole first to make sure it isn’t Geoff or Griffon home early (part of him almost hopes it is). It’s not, though – it’s Michael, like he’d expected. So he holds his breath and, realizing he can’t put this off any longer, swings the door open. A crooked-smiling Michael greets him on the other side.

“Hey, Gav,” he says, looking him up and down.

Gavin shifts from foot to foot. “Hi, Michael.”

Michael’s quiet for a second. “God, Gavin,” he says seriously, “you look…really, really good.”

“Thanks,” Gavin says, face burning.

“Are you gonna let me inside?”

“Oops. Um, yeah. Come on.”

Michael smirks and walks past him to the living room, getting comfortable on the couch. He picks up the remote and starts clicking through the channels. “Fuck yeah, _Walking Dead_ is on.”

Gavin stands awkwardly in the door way, watching Michael watch the TV.

After a few seconds, Michael looks over his shoulder. “Sit the fuck down, Gav. I can’t concentrate on the show when you’re looming over me like a retarded maid.”

And again, Gavin’s baffled at how easily Michael’s able to transform the tense atmosphere to a calm one. He sits down beside him and they watch _The Walking Dead_ , laughing and cursing and generally being idiots. When it’s over, Michael suggests they order pizza because Geoff probably won’t want them raiding the fridge, and Gavin brings out a couple beers to take the edge off. Well, for _him_ to take the edge off. Michael seems to be having as good a time as they always have together, which makes Gavin considerably more relieved.

When the delivery boy comes, Gavin forces Michael to get the door.

“Gav, you look _fine_. Really nice, actually.”

Gavin blushes. “I don’t care. I’m not seeing anyone looking like this.”

“You’re seeing me right now.”

“Yeah, well. That’s kind of because you pushed for it.”

“Because I wanted to prove you wrong,” Michael smirks. “And I did.”

“Compliment me all you want, I’m still not getting that door. And the longer you wait, the colder our pizza will get.”

Michael throws his arms up in defeat and pushes himself up from the couch.

“Hold on,” Gavin says. “Let me give you the money.”

Michael waves him away. “I got it.”

Gavin frowns. “Michael, no. It’s my house.”

“Technically, it’s Geoff’s.”

“Yeah, but–”

“Gav, it’s fine,” Michael laughs and goes to meet the patiently waiting pizza guy. Once he’s paid, he comes back and sets the cardboard box on the coffee table. “Mario Party?”

“Yeah.”

They start up the Gamecube and grab their slices.

“Should we be on a team?”

Michael shrugs. “Why not.”

They end up choosing the rainbow board. Michael plays as Boo and Gavin as Wa Luigi, and they play against Toad and Kupa Kid. It’s pretty slow-going at first, because the computer players are always stupid as fuck and Gavin’s honestly not much better, but. Michael’s doing his best to control his temper.

It’s the mini games that are really fucking them up. It’s halfway through and they’re playing ID UFO, which is probably Michael’s least favourite mini game. They have to identify the pictures of two UFOs and ground-pound them simultaneously. Which, yeah, is pretty difficult to begin with, but even worse when Gavin is your teammate.

“Gavin, come the fuck on, it’s the middle-left one.”

Gavin starts ground-pounding it.

“God damn it, wait for me! It’s not going to work if we don’t do it together.”

Needless to say, it doesn’t work out well. Toad and Kupa Kid nail three before they even manage one.

“Motherfucker!” Michael growls, pizza crust dangling from his lips like a cigar.

Gavin shrugs and fingers a green pepper. “Ah well. Win some, lose some.”

“You’re gonna win my fist in your gut if you keep playing like a fucking mentally challenged two year old.”

Gavin just cackles.

In the end, they lose because Gavin’s playing did not, in fact, improve. And true to his word, Michael’s fist collides with his stomach, but only gently so whatever. And then Gavin starts swatting at him and they end up wrestling around on the floor like a couple of idiots. When Michael’s got Gavin pinned to the ground and flailing awkwardly, he smirks and lets him go.

“Don’t get carpet burn or something, spazz.”

Gavin glares, but it’s half-hearted and turns into a goofy smile.

They get up off the floor and sit back on the couch. Michael flicks on the satellite.

“What are we watching?” Gavin asks, smoothing out the creases in his clothes.

Michael flips through the guide. “Cold Case Files is on A&E?”

Gavin groans. “How can you stand watching all that psycho stuff?”

“It’s interesting,” Michael shrugs. “And it’s fun being scared.”

“For you, maybe.”

“Don’t be a pussy, Gav.”

So they watch it anyway, despite Gavin’s complaints. And yeah, it’s fucking freaky. But Gavin doesn’t want to seem like a baby so he goes along with it and after only an hour of bone chilling murder stories, it’s over.

Michael shuts the TV off after that, and they just sit around talking and sipping their fresh beers for a while. At ten o’clock, Michael gets up to leave because they figure Geoff and Griff and Millie are probably on their way home by now.

After he’s slipped his shoes on, he turns to Gavin. “I wanted to prove a point tonight, Gav.”

Gavin purses his lips.

“And I was right, so. Lighten up a little, dumbass.” He flashes a crooked grin and walks out the door and Gavin just sort of stands there and watches him go.

He locks the door and smiles to himself. If he’s being honest, he’s kind of glad Michael made him do this. It was awkward at first, but now he doesn’t feel like such a freak. He feels insanely lucky to have such an accepting best friend.

* * *

 

It’s another two weeks before Michael sees him dressed up again. Geoff and Griffon and Millie are staying the night at Griffon’s mom’s house, so Gavin’s timeframe is a little more lenient this time. Honestly, he isn’t sure if Michael’s expecting him to do it again. But he obviously won’t mind, and Gavin figures he should take Michael’s advice and embrace who he is. Plus, he doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to do this. He doesn’t want to limit them even more just because Michael happened to choose today to hang out.

He’s picked up some things since last time – a pair of light blue shorts with soft orange flowers, and a pastel pink spaghetti-strap shirt, speckled with tiny black polka dots and with just a bit of beige lace on the breast line. He has a matching pair of bra and panties now, too. They’re red and soft and lacy and pretty much perfect. But he doesn’t think they really go with his outfit tonight, so he’ll have to wear them another day. For now he chooses the ones he wore last time.

“You look gorgeous, Gav,” Michael says when Gavin answers the door.

Gavin blushes. “Thanks.”

They spend the night the same way they usually would – eating junk food and playing Minecraft and watching stupid movies. By 12:00am they’re halfway through _The Omen_ , because Michael’s into classic horror films, and Gavin might be getting a little edgy. Being around Millie all the time, he isn’t used to watching anything too scary. So when the ambassador’s wife suddenly gets shoved out a window and plummets to her death, it’s not entirely unreasonable for him to jump. Usually Michael would tease him, but he’s feeling kind tonight. Instead he loops his arm around Gavin’s shoulders and pulls him across the couch and into his side.

“Don’t be such a wuss, Gav.” Well, he’s feeling mostly kind anyway.

Gavin swats him on the chest, but he’s honestly grateful for the strong arm around him. Even though that might be a little gay…. But no, he’s scared. And if he really was a girl it wouldn’t be gay at all. Which is probably why Michael thought it was appropriate to cuddle him in the first place.

“Stop thinking. I’m trying to watch the movie.”

Gavin rolls his eyes and moves a little closer.

* * *

 

It’s a couple weeks later and Gavin’s on a plane headed for Austin. He’s just spent a week or so in England, visiting family and filming some Slo Mo Guys things with Dan, and he’s so ready to come home. It was great to see everyone again, but he’s on his second flight now and it boarded in Chicago so of course it was late and the guy next to him’s been snoring the entire time and, yeah.  He’s pretty excited to get back.

Michael’s waiting to pick him up at the terminal. Although, Gavin didn’t expect him to take it so literally. When he finally touches down and heads over to meet him, Michael lifts him up and twirls him around.

“Oh,” Gavin squeaks as he sets him down. “Hi.”

“You looked like you could use a hug,” Michael explains.

“Ha. You could say that.”

Michael takes his luggage and leads the way to the car. “How was jolly old England?”

And Gavin smirks and tells him about it. But as they drive back to Geoff’s with the windows down and the warm Texas air blowing in their faces, the embrace is still stuck in the back of his mind.

The more Gavin thinks about it, the more he notices Michael treating him differently lately. Not in a bad way or anything, just…differently. More affectionately (which is weird because that’s just not how guys are with each other). He’s started holding doors for him, and linking their arms when they walk together. He even helped him into his sweater once when they were leaving the office.

And then Gavin realizes – Michael’s treating him like a girl. He feels like he should mind, since he made it clear that he does, in fact, like being a dude. Actually, he should probably be pretty pissed. But for some reason he’s not. It’s kind of sweet in a way, and he’s definitely okay with how much more considerate it’s made Michael act towards him. If it means he’s going to be less of a general dickwad, Gavin doesn’t really see the harm.

But the rest of the guys at Roosterteeth apparently disagree. They were shocked enough with the disappearance of Gavin’s beard, but now Michael’s really drawn attention to him with all the politeness and hugging and stuff.

“Is there something you two wanna tell us?” Jack says one day on the way to Jersey Mike’s.

He, Geoff, Ryan, Ray, Gavin and Michael are all squished into Geoff’s truck. Instead of taking two cars, Michael decided to make things easy and pulled Gavin into his lap.

“Fuck off,” he says dismissingly.

“He has a point,” Geoff chimes in, raising an accusatory eyebrow at them in the rearview mirror. “I can’t help but notice that every time I leave Gavin home alone, you suddenly decide to come over.”

 “Geoff, I’ve done that like twice.”

“So you’ve been keeping count?”

“Suspicious,” Ray nods.

“Please, Ray,” Michael snorts, resting his hand on Gavin’s thigh. “Just because you’re gay for Gavin doesn’t mean no one else can hang out with him.”

Ray cracks a smile. “He’s got me there.”

And then they finally pull up at the sub shop and everyone gets preoccupied trying to figure out what to order and the subject is dropped.

* * *

 

They’ve sort of developed an unspoken understanding that every time they hang out alone, Gavin’s going to be wearing girl clothes. The next time, he’s wearing his denim skirt and a stripy purple, red and white sweater he got the week before. They’re sitting on the floor with their backs to the couch. Michael’s convinced Gavin to play Bioshock and now he’s looking on and laughing at how much he sucks.

“Nonono!” Gavin frowns as he gets taken out by a splicer.

Michael’s laughing his ass off. “Come on, Gav, just give him the ol’ one-two-punch.”

Gavin scoffs. “What does that even mean! Atlas doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.”

“It’s not that hard,” Michael grins, wiping a stray tear from his eye. “Here.” When Gavin’s respawned, Michael reaches his arms around either side of him and puts his hands over Gavin’s on the controller. This time when the splicer approaches them, Michael lures him to a puddle of water, zaps him with electro bolt plasmid, and beats him to death with their wrench. “See? Nothing to it.” And then he lets go.

Gavin bites his lip. “Easy enough for someone who’s beaten the game ten times over on hard.”

“Easy enough for anyone who isn’t retarded.”

Gavin smirks and elbows him in the side.

“Pay attention,” Michael laughs. “You’ve got splicers coming out of your asshole.”

* * *

 

Gavin’s pretty sure Michael likes him. He doesn’t know for certain, but. There’s being affectionate because that’s just what guys do with girls, and then there’s outright flirting. And as Gavin rereads their last text messages, he thinks it’s safe to say it’s probably not just a gender thing.

_(Fri 6:23pm)  
Gavino!_

(Fri 6:23pm)  
Michael!

_(Fri 6:24pm)  
Busy?_

(Fri 6:25pm)  
Nope. Why?

_(Fri 6:25pm)  
Hangouts at mine in a bit?_

(Fri 6:27pm)  
Sure C:

_(Fri 6:28pm)  
Cool. I’ll pick you up in half an hour?_

(Fri 6:28pm)  
See you then!

_(Fri 6:30pm)  
Haha. See ya, cutie._

And Gavin’s kind of okay with that because, well. He thinks he likes Michael, too. They’ve been best friends for a while, so they obviously get along pretty well. And Michael’s definitely not unattractive. Actually, (if Gavin’s being honest) he’s really, really good-looking. And he’s funny and cute and witty and charming and fun and– yeah. Gavin’s got it bad.

But he’s kind of nervous now. What if Michael only likes him as a girl? He can’t dress up tonight because Griffon and Millie are home, and he’s definitely not going to do it at Michael’s house. He decides to compromise by washing his hair with that girly-scented shampoo and wearing the tightest guy clothes he has.

_(Fri 7:02pm)  
I’m here, gorgeous. Get your ass outside._

Gavin gives himself a once-over in the mirror, tries to shape his hair around his face, gives up, and heads out. “Hey,” he smiles nervously as he buckles his seatbelt.

Michael smiles back and starts pulling out of the driveway. “How’s Millie?”

“Oh, you know, good. I mean she threatened Griffon the other day, but. Overall pretty good.”

“What?” Michael laughs. “No fucking way.”

Gavin smirks and nods.

“What did she say?”

“Griffon wanted her to come shopping and she didn’t want to so she was all ‘Mommy, it would be sad if you broke your nose’.”

Michael bursts into laughter. “Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah. She watches a lot of _God Father_.”

“No shit.”

They get to Michael’s house and he immediately switches the TV on.

“There’s a horror movie marathon on Spike,” he explains. “Let’s pop some corn and bust open a couple beers.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Gavin agrees, and goes to the fridge to get them. He sets them down on the coffee table and waits while Michael cooks the popcorn. A girl onscreen peers outside her front door in the dead of night and Gavin winces. “Hurry up, Michael.”

Michael smirks. “Scared, Gavino?”

“No.”

“It’s cool,” he says, placing a big plastic bowl beside the beers and flicking off the lights. “Mogar’s here.”

Gavin rolls his eyes. “Oh thank god.”

They’ve just caught the beginning of _A Nightmare on Elm Street_ , maybe fifteen minutes in. So far, Gavin feels he’s taking it reasonably well. Michael doesn’t think as much.

“Jesus, Gav, stop fidgeting.”

Gavin scowls. “I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“Well it’s not my fault.”

“Okay, but it’s fucking distracting.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

He makes a conscious effort to stop, and does alright for a while. But then there’s the girl from before in a body bag and the main character’s screaming and, hey, so is Gavin.

“Gavin, calm the fuck down. I’ve got neighbours.”

“Sorry,” he says, voice wobbly.

Michael rolls his eyes and tugs him across the couch, tucking him into his side. “Better?”

Gavin nods.

Eventually, a guy gets hung in a jail cell by his own bed sheets and Gavin subconsciously grabs Michael’s hand. He squeezes back. And then another guy gets all the blood ripped from his body and Gavin hides his face in Michael’s shoulder and Michael rests his head on top of Gavin’s. By the time it’s over, Gavin’s turned away from the TV entirely. He’s pretty relieved when the credits start rolling.

“Well that was fun.”

Michael laughs. “We still have the other four to watch.”

“What?” Gavin gawks.

“Were you in the middle of a homoerotic daydream or something when I said marathon?”

“Apparently.”

“Don’t be such a wuss,” Michael says, standing. “It’ll be awesome.”

“Where are you going?”

“Pee break.”

“Sure,” Gavin grumbles as Michael walks down the hall. “Make me watch a scary movie and then leave me all alone.”

He picks up a piece of popcorn and absentmindedly tears it into bits. As close as Michael’s been with him lately, this is definitely the closest. And it’s making him nervous but, you know. It’s nice, too. He just hopes he isn’t overanalyzing things. Maybe this is how Michael acts with all his female friends. How would Gavin know any different? But then…he called him _cutie_. Would he really mean that platonically? It’s kind of giving him a headache.

Suddenly, Michael materializes out of thin fucking air and grabs his shoulders.

So naturally, Gavin crashes to the floor. “God damn it, Michael,” he whines, clutching his chest. “Are you trying to put me into cardiac arrest?”

Michael cackles and reclaims his seat. “I dunno,” he shrugs, holding out his hand to help Gavin back up. “Could make an interesting RT Life, I guess.”

Gavin glares and lets himself be hauled onto the couch, nearly knocking over their forgotten beers. “It’s like you’re determined to traumatize me tonight or something.”

“Maybe.” Michael considers. “But I’ll be here afterwards to chase all the scary monsters away.”

Gavin swallows hard. “Better be.”

* * *

 

Gavin’s been dwelling on this thing between him and Michael…if there even is a thing to speak of. Nearly two months have passed since he told him about his secret, and maybe one since Michael started noticeably flirting with him, and almost nothing’s changed. In a way, he’s grateful, because at first he hadn’t wanted Michael to treat him differently for having such a strange kink. But honestly, he figures that their relationship should have progressed at least a little by now if Michael actually does like him.

So does he? Well, probably. Gavin can’t be sure, but it seems pretty likely. But then what’s holding him back from making a move?

Maybe it’s something else. Michael really only started getting so chummy with Gavin when he found out that he likes dressing in lady clothes. What if he only likes Girl Gavin? It would make sense after all, Michael being straight.

So now Gavin’s kind of freaking out because while yeah, he likes looking pretty now and then, he also likes being a guy. And he’s not really willing to change that for anyone. But he also really likes Michael and he doesn’t want to give him up either. So what is he supposed to do?

Honestly, he doesn’t know. But for now he does what he can. He’s started being a lot more conscious of his appearance at work. His clothes have never been very baggy, but lately he’s taken extra care to wear the most fitted things he has, and he’s been using women’s shampoo and body wash, too. He’s even been making his body language as feminine as possible. But despite all his effort, nothing’s happened. He’s not too discouraged, though. He’ll just have to try harder.

The next time they hang out at Gavin’s, he wears a tight black skirt that hugs his bum and comes up way past his knees, and a low-cut, lacy white spaghetti-strap shirt, equally as snug. Underneath, he has on the lacy red bra and panties he bought a while earlier, and if you can see his bra straps under his shirt, well. It’s definitely not intentional. On his eyes, he wears bold black mascara, and on his lips red lipstick. And he arranges his bangs so they cascade like drapes and tumble into his eyelashes.

He’s nervous, isn’t sure if he can pull off such an intense look. And as he looks in the mirror, he maybe loses some of his confidence. But when he answers the door at nine o’clock, Michael looks taken aback.

“Jesus,” he says, wide-eyed. “You’re a knock-out, Gav.”

Gavin smiles and steps aside.

Michael pulls him into a hug. “I’d ask if you wanted to watch some scary movies but you didn’t seem to have much fun last time.”

Gavin pulls away. “Well. You can protect me if I get too scared.”

“Deal.”

Gavin turns out the lights and they go and sit on the couch. “What are we watching?” he asks, stretching so his shirt rides up a bit.

Michael subtly glances at the exposed skin of Gavin’s hip and then switches the TV on. He clicks around the pay per views. “Devil?”

“How much will it freak me out?”

“Probably a lot.” He reaches over and scoops Gavin into his lap. “But I’m here, so.”

Gavin looks away and smirks. “Lucky me.”

The movie starts playing and Gavin rests his head on Michael’s shoulder, prepared for the worst. Initially it isn’t too bad. It starts with a Spanish security guard going on about stories his superstitious mother used to tell him about the devil, and Gavin’s doing okay so far. But then it cuts to a man plummeting thirty-five stories to his death and, yeah. He’s getting a little jumpy now.

Michael puts a hand on his thigh and strokes it. “Just a movie, Gav.”

And then Gavin calms down a little. Some other things happen and all these people end up in an elevator and that’s fine. But then they get stuck and the power goes out and when the lights turn back on this girl has a bite mark on her neck. And when it happens again, a guy’s dead on the floor with a slice through his jugular. Gavin’s nearly pissing himself.

Michael laces their hands together and squeezes. “If it’s too scary, just turn away.”

So Gavin does. He spends most of the movie with his face in Michael’s neck and a hand fisted in his t-shirt. When it’s over, he collapses onto the other end of the couch, resting his legs in Michael’s lap.

“I made it through.”

Michael laughs and rolls his eyes. “Barely. You were super glued to me the entire time.”

“Yeah well. You’re the one who pulled me over there.”

“I didn’t want you having a panic attack on me or something.”

Gavin puts his arms behind his head and closes his eyes. “I think you were just trying to get close to me,” he teases.

Michael smirks. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

While Gavin isn’t paying attention, Michael grabs hold of one of his feet and starts tickling. “How’s this for close?”

“Michael!” Gavin wheezes, trying to kick him off. “Stop!”

Michael grins. “You’ll have to do better than that, Gav.”

Gavin flips onto his stomach and tries to yank his leg away, but Michael pulls him back.

“Nope.”

“Michael, please,” he laughs helplessly and starts to crawl away.

“I don’t think so,” Michael smirks, pulling him to his chest. “C’mere.”

Gavin struggles for another second or so, but then Michael stops tickling him so he focuses on catching his breath instead. It’s not till his laughter’s died down that he realizes he’s kind of in a compromising position. He’s about to make an excuse and move when he feels something warm on the back of his neck. And then all he can think is _Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, Michael’s kissing my neck, oh fuck._

He starts out cautious and soft at first, sort of testing the waters.  But when Gavin still hasn’t recoiled after a minute, he gets a little more fervent, licking and nipping and sucking a bruise into his skin. Every time Michael’s teeth graze his neck Gavin hisses, but in the best way possible, and it goes straight to Michael’s crotch. Gavin shyly places his hand over the one Michael has on his stomach and rubs it encouragingly with his thumb.

And that’s really all Michael needs. He spins Gavin around and smashes their lips together, licking away the red lipstick. Gavin whimpers unintentionally into the kiss and, fuck, Michael can’t take this. He lowers Gavin onto his back and situates himself between his legs, running a hand up his thigh.

“Jesus, Gav,” he says between kisses.

All Gavin can do is whine.

And Michael feels really fucking good about himself for being the one to turn Gavin into a horny, speechless mess. An insanely hot mess. An insanely hot mess that’s practically writhing beneath him and oh, _fuck_. He slides his hand further up Gavin’s leg, under his skirt. And he can feel the lace panties and okay, whoa. Hot.

“Gavin, you’re so fucking sexy, I can’t.”

Gavin reaches up and slides Michael’s glasses off his face, setting them on the coffee table.

Michael puts his other hand on Gavin’s bare stomach and slowly inches it up. Eventually he feels the delicate lace of Gavin’s bra and his dick actually jumps. And now he’s got one hand on his ass and one hand up his shirt and fuck if that isn’t the hottest thing that’s ever happened to him. He grinds down and smirks when Gavin bucks his hips. He cautiously starts to lift Gavin’s shirt and breaks away to look at him.

“Is this okay? Is this something that can happen?” His eyes search Gavin’s carefully.

“Yeah,” Gavin says breathily. “Yeah, yes. Please.” And he puts his hand over Michael’s and helps him get the shirt off.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Michael says when he sees the lacy red bra. “Oh my god.”

He lifts him onto his lap and buries his face in Gavin’s chest, kissing and feeling and getting way harder than he thought possible. And then he starts unzipping Gavin’s skirt and Gavin eagerly helps him slide it off. He looks down and nearly comes right there at what he sees – Gavin in nothing but a lacy red bra and panties, all hot and bothered and laid out in front of him. He really can’t help but dry hump him for a bit. It’s just too much. He slips a finger under the dainty waistband but Gavin puts his hand over Michael’s and bites his lip.

“You first.”

And yeah, Michael’s totally fine with that. He hastily throws his shirt to the ground and starts unbuttoning his jeans. When he’s down to his boxers, Gavin can’t keep himself away. His shoulders are broad and his chest is wide and his arms are thick but not grossly so. He’s pretty much perfect. And it’s driving Gavin crazy. And Jesus, his collarbone. It’s just really defined and hot and.

Gavin crawls back into Michael’s lap and Michael puts his hands on Gavin’s ass to support him. They start rocking against each other and it’s so, _so_ good. But after a while it’s not enough. They can’t get sufficient friction.

Michael’s about to suggest they do something about it but Gavin beats him to the punch. He slides Michael’s boxers down just enough to free his cock and, whoa. Gavin always figured he was big but this is…whoa. He wonders how it’s possibly going to fit in his mouth.

But he’s a trooper, so. He gets to his knees on the floor and curiously licks the tip. Michael hisses in surprise, but a really good surprise. Gaining confidence, Gavin takes it in his mouth, or at least as much as he can, and starts to suck. He hollows his cheeks and even though he makes some awkward slurping noises and accidentally bumps the head with his teeth, Michael thinks he looks like an angel. An angel who’s surprisingly good at giving blowjobs. He threads his fingers through Gavin’s hair and thrusts involuntarily. So of course Gavin gags, but Michael holds his head down and eventually he relaxes and takes it. And yeah, if Gavin doesn’t stop now Michael’s definitely going to come.

“Ah, okay,” he pushes Gavin off.

Gavin looks away. “…Was it alright?”

“Baby, no,” Michael places his hand on Gavin’s cheek. “Believe me, it was a fuck of a lot better than alright.”

Gavin’s mouth turns up a little in the corners.

“But if you keep doing that I’m gonna come right now.” Michael lifts him back onto the couch and pulls him in for another kiss. He hooks a finger in the waistband of Gavin’s panties. “Any chance these might come off?”

Gavin blushes but nods.

Michael kisses him again, long and reassuring, then breaks away to drag Gavin’s panties down his legs. He takes in the sight of Gavin’s painfully hard erection and palms it lightly, wondering if he can make Gavin come without even touching it. He decides to try.

“How about this?” he asks, moving up to his bra.

Gavin nods again and Michael can’t help himself. He fingers the clasps and carefully unhooks them. And then he tosses it to the floor and Gavin is naked and shy and so, so beautiful beneath him. He’s nervous and not making eye contact but that’s okay. Michael puts a hand over one of Gavin’s pecs and squeezes.

“Jesus Christ, Gav,” he says breathlessly.

He takes a nipple in his mouth and gently sucks, grasping the other pec in his hand. Gavin whimpers and clutches the back of Michael’s head.

“Gav,” Michael says seriously when he breaks away. “Have you ever had sex with a guy before?”

Gavin shakes his head, cheeks pink. “Have you?”

“No.” It’s quiet for a second. “How far do you want to take this?”

Gavin considers. “As far as you want to,” he says finally. “I’m good if you are.”

“Are you sure?” Michael asks, searching Gavin’s eyes carefully.

He nods.

“Okay. Do you have condoms?”

“Fuck,” Gavin curses, biting his lip. “No. Do you?”

Michael shakes his head. “But…I mean, I’m clean. If you’re…comfortable with that.”

Gavin looks thoughtful. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m clean, too.”

“Okay,” Michael smiles. “Do you have lube or anything?”

“Uh. I think I have some hand lotion, if that’d work?”

“That should be fine.”

Gavin goes and retrieves it from the bathroom. When he gets back, he hands it to Michael. “I’m not really sure what I’m doing here,” he explains sheepishly.

Michael smiles. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” He uncaps the lotion and squeezes some onto his fingers. “Lay back, okay?”

Gavin does.

“This is gonna feel pretty weird, but if it hurts just tell me and I’ll stop. I promise.”

“It’s okay. Just do it.”

Michael nods and moves his hand towards Gavin’s hole. He strokes it for a second, and Gavin shudders a little, but it doesn’t seem to hurt yet so he keeps going. Carefully, he pushes in just the tip of his finger, and Gavin gasps.

“It’s okay, babe,” Michael soothes.

He slowly pushes his finger in the rest of the way. When it seems like Gavin has adjusted, he starts to wriggle it around, and even though Gavin’s mostly uncomfortable, there’s a little bit of pleasure in there, too. And then he adds a second finger and starts up a scissoring motion.

“How do you…know so much about this?” Gavin gasps out. “I thought you’d never done it before.”

“I haven’t,” Michael confirms. “I just thought it made sense to stretch you first.”

Shortly after the second finger, he adds a third. And then, carefully, he removes them all. Picking up the bottle of lotion again, he squirts some onto his hand and coats his dick generously. He looks down at Gavin.

“Ready?”

And honestly? Gavin’s not so sure. Just Michael’s fingers felt weird, and if he had trouble getting Michael’s cock in his mouth, he has no fucking idea how it’s supposed to fit up his ass. But he’s too far gone now. He wants this, even if it’s a little scary. So he nods.

And then Michael lines up and starts to push in. It’s difficult, though. He can feel Gavin clenching around him. He’s tensing up and Michael can barely move.

“Baby, you need to relax,” he says softly. And fuck if it isn’t taking all he’s got not to just thrust into him. “Relax, okay?”

It takes a second, but Gavin forces himself to calm down, and then Michael’s pushing in again.

“Almost there,” Michael tells him. “Just take a little more for me.” And finally he’s in. “How are you doing?”

“Alright,” Gavin says, unsure.

Michael waits for a minute to let Gavin get used to being stretched so thin. “If it hurts, just tell me, okay?”

Gavin nods.

And after what seems like forever, Michael can move. It’s still a tight fit, but he’s managing. He starts out slow, easing into a steady pace.

Gavin is baffled at how full he feels. It’s definitely strange, but with a few more thrusts it starts to feel better. And then really good. Michael’s feeling around, trying to find Gavin’s sweet spot. He shifts a little and, _oh_.

“ _Michael_ ,” Gavin moans, spreading his legs wider. “Oh my god.”

“Gavin. Jesus, you’re so fucking sexy.” He grabs Gavin by the hips, picking up speed.

Each snap of his hips sends a shockwave of pleasure through Gavin. “Faster,” Gavin begs.

So Michael complies. And _Jesus_. He’s been with girls before but he can’t ever remember any of those times feeling half as good as now.

Michael’s close, he can feel it. But he wants Gavin to come first, wants this to feel as good as possible for him. “Come on, baby. Come for me,” he says, thrusting hastily. He really doesn’t think he can move much faster.

Gavin’s a moaning mess now. Michael’s slamming into him so hard he’s scared he might break. But god, does it feel good. “Michael,” he whimpers.

“Come for me, Gav.” Michael laces their hands together and that does it.

“ _Michael_.” Gavin’s completely gone now, and he comes all over himself.

Michael keeps pounding into him. And then he feels Gavin clench around him and suddenly he’s coming, too, hitting Gavin’s prostate and filling him up even more, if that’s possible. He thrusts a few more times, riding out the aftershocks, and then collapses on top of him.

They lie there for a few minutes, panting and sticky with sweat and seed. And then Michael peels himself away and sits up.

“We should probably clean off before we get too gross.”

Gavin nods. “Get some paper towels or something.”

“Why me?”

“Because,” Gavin smirks. “You started this. Seems only fair you should be the one to finish it.”

Michael grins and goes to the kitchen. He comes back with a wet paper towel and wipes away the come from their skin, and then he lies back on the couch and pulls Gavin to his chest.

“I never took you for a post-orgasm cuddler,” Gavin muses.

“Yeah, well. Shut up.”

He smiles into Michael’s collarbone. “I like it.”

Michael’s mouth turns up in the corner and he threads his fingers with Gavin’s. And then he takes on a more serious tone. “Listen….”

Gavin swallows nervously.

“I didn’t want to bring this up so soon after, but. It’ll be easier if I just say it now.”

“What is it?” Gavin says resignedly.

“I don’t know what this meant to you but to me it’s kind of a big deal. I don’t want to do this again if it’s just fooling around. And if this was a onetime thing for you and you just wanna stay friends, that’s fine. I promise I won’t be a dick about it. But if we’re going to do this, I want to do it right.”

“Are you…asking me out?”

Michael bites his lip. “Pretty much, yeah.”

Gavin lets out the breath he hadn’t known he was holding and laughs.

Michael shoves him. “I’m putting myself out there for you, asshole. Not exactly a confidence-booster when you laugh–”

Gavin covers Michael’s mouth with his and sighs. When he pulls away, Michael’s eyebrows are raised.

“…So is that a yes, or? Because you kind of have a reputation of talking Gavinspeak instead of English and it’s hard to tell sometimes.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Gavin beams. “Yes, obviously.”

Michael smiles hopefully. “So you’ll be my boyfriend?”

“Was the sex too subtle?”

Michael grins and pulls him into another kiss. “Cool.”

They lie there for an hour or so, making out and holding hands and generally being lovesick puppies. And then they fall asleep. When they wake up, it’s to Geoff opening the front door and frantically looking away when he sees them.

Gavin practically flies across the couch.

“Sorry! Sorry, let me just-” and then he closes the door and starts ushering Griff and Millie back to the truck.

It’s quiet for a second before Michael breaks out in laughter. “Fuck.”

Gavin looks horrified. “Oh my god. Michael, he’s seen. He saw everything, oh my god.”

“Probably getting you back for pantsing him that one time,” Michael snickers.

“It’s not funny,” Gavin snaps.

The smile fades from Michael’s face. “Geeze, Gav. It’s not that big a deal.”

“It is to me!”

“Is it…are you embarrassed or something?”

“Well, yeah.”

Michael bites his lip and nods. “Okay.” He starts picking up his clothes.

“Where are you going?”

“Somewhere that’s not here.”

“What are you talking about? Michael, stop.” He puts his hand around Michael’s wrist.

Michael shakes it off. “If it bothers you that much, maybe this isn’t going to work.”

Speechless, Gavin sits back on his heels and watches Michael pull his jeans on.

Without another word, Michael tucks his shirt under his arm and walks out the front door, leaving a dumbfounded, naked, miserable Gavin all alone.

“…What the fuck?” Gavin whispers to himself, voice wavering. What did he do wrong? How did he already screw this up?

But no, fuck that. This isn’t his fault. And it isn’t Michael’s place to care so damn much about something that’s not his problem. Just because he told Michael he likes to wear girl clothes doesn’t mean he has to tell the rest of the world, too. That’s his decision. But now Geoff’s seen and he knows anyway and this was never supposed to happen.

Gavin wipes away an angry tear, gathers up his clothes and walks to his room. He locks the door and falls onto his bed face-first. Beneath the resentment bubbling inside him, he can’t help but feel dread and heartache as well. Just when things finally start falling into place for him, they fall apart instead. He didn’t ask for any of this. Fuck it all.

* * *

 

Michael speeds away from Geoff’s house, red-faced and furious. He never should have done this, knew it was a bad idea. He and Gavin just can’t work. They aren’t good for each other. Gavin’s embarrassed to be seen with him. And you know what? That’s just fucking fine by Michael. Things will go back to the way they were and he’ll be his regular mean self to Gavin and it’ll be fine. So why does this hurt so much?

He pulls into an empty parking lot and turns the key back. And for the first time in his life, he cries about a broken heart. _Wonderful Girl_ by The Five Satins is playing on the radio, and Michael scowls at the irony. Maybe Gavin has a reason to be ashamed of him. He’s got so many flaws. He wishes Gavin could see past them. Things were so much easier when they were just friends.

He doesn’t sleep that night. And when he walks into the Achievement Hunter office the next morning, everyone’s a little worried.

“Michael, you look like shit,” Jack observes.

“Yeah, well,” Michael shrugs. “I feel like it, too.”

“Something happen?”

Michael waves him off. “Just didn’t get a lot of sleep. Forget about it.”

Ray smiles sympathetically and sets his coffee on Michael’s desk. “There you go, buddy. You need it more than me.”

“Thanks.”

Michael warms his hands on the paper cup and scans the room. Gavin’s nowhere to be seen. He figures it’s just as well, though, isn’t so sure he really wants to see him right now.

Gavin’s taken the day off at Geoff’s request. And if Geoff is maybe a little pissed at Michael for making his boy cry, well. He’s always had paternal feelings for the kid. Gavin spends all morning sleeping since he couldn’t at night, and all afternoon tossing and turning and refusing to come out of his room. He won’t eat or talk. Nothing. He’s at least relieved to find out that Geoff didn’t actually see anything, but that does nothing for his hurting heart.

Michael doesn’t sleep much the next night either, just a couple hours. In the morning Gavin’s back at work, red-eyed and blotchy-faced, and Michael tries to keep his distance. They only talk to each other when absolutely necessary, so during Let’s Plays and stuff. But it’s forced and automatic at best and this sucks because Michael doesn’t know how to act around his best fucking friend anymore. They’ve always been there for each other. And now they’re not and Michael is so, so lost.

By the fourth day, Geoff’s starting to go crazy. Gavin’s developed a habit of waking up, going to work, and coming home and shutting himself in his bedroom until morning. It’s getting kind of ridiculous. And it’s fucking up the usual easy atmosphere of the office. But Gavin’s showering now, so. That’s something at least.

An entire week passes by before Geoff finally steps in.

“Okay,” he says, crossing his arms. “I didn’t want to have to get involved but obviously you two can’t work things out on your own.”

It’s early morning and no one else has come in yet so it’s just him and Michael alone in the office. Gavin’s in the bathroom or something; Geoff can’t remember.

Michael rests his chin on the desk in front of him. “Go away, Geoff.”

“You know I would, but I’m getting pretty tired of watching you mope around here like a fucking corpse.”

Michael lifts his head.

“Apologize to him.”

“What? I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Geoff holds a hand up. “I don’t give a fuck who did what. Tell him you’re sorry.”

“Why should I?”

Geoff’s face softens. “You miss him, right?”

Michael shifts in his seat. “Yeah.”

“And you love him?”

“Yeah. God, yes.”

Geoff shrugs. “Then he should be more important than your pride.”

Michael bites his lip.

“Plus, it’s been a week and he hasn’t stopped crying and it’s keeping Millie awake at night. So I’m telling you now – fix it.” He gives him a meaningful look and walks away.

Michael scrubs his hands over his face and sighs. How did his life get so complicated?

He decides to wait until lunch to talk to Gavin.

“I’m hungry,” he announces at one o’clock, just as they finish filming a Minecraft LP. “Come to McDonald’s with me, Gav?”

The office gets considerably quieter. Gavin licks his lips. “Uh, sure.”

Michael grabs his keys and they walk to his truck in silence. The drive there isn’t any less tense. It’s April now which means it’s mild but not agonizingly hot, so they order their meals and take them over to a picnic table, sitting on either side. They’re halfway finished by the time anyone speaks up. As usual, Gavin beats him to the punch.

“Can we…talk?”

Michael sets down his burger.

“I miss you.” He fidgets nervously.

Michael turns to look at him.

“Look. Honestly, I’m pissed that you walked out on me. I’m angry that you care so much about something that’s not yours to care about. And I’m just not going to be able to give you what you want. But I’d do anything for you to look past that – I’ll be so feminine when I’m around you, I just. I just want to be with you.”

Michael cocks an eyebrow. “Gavin…I’m not following. What does you being feminine have to do with this?”

Gavin stares back, equally puzzled. “You said this couldn’t work if I kept my secret a secret.”

“…No I didn’t.”

“Yes,” Gavin says slowly. “You did. I said I was embarrassed and you left.”

Michael pales. “You were embarrassed because Geoff and Griffon almost saw you dressed up.”

“Yeah….”

“Oh my god.” Michael stands and walks to the other side of the bench, lifting Gavin into his arms. “I’m so fucking stupid, oh my god.” He presses their lips together.

“Michael,” Gavin yelp,s clutching his shoulders. “I don’t understand.”

“Gavin, I’m such an idiot. I thought– I thought you were upset that they saw us together. God damn it, I’m sorry, Gav.” He tries to kiss him again but Gavin pulls away, looking hopeful.

“So…you don’t care that I don’t want to tell them…what I do?”

“Of course not,” Michael says as if it should be obvious.

Gavin still looks confused. “I just…I thought you only liked me as a girl.”

Michael knits his brows together. “Why did you think that?”

“Because you only started flirting with me when you started thinking of me as one. Before that you weren’t half as affectionate.”

“Gav. Baby, no.” Michael cups his cheek. “It was never like that. I don’t think of you as a chick. You told me yourself that you still like being a guy.”

“…Then why didn’t you flirt with me before?”

“Because I didn’t realize I liked you yet. In my mind, knowing that you had a feminine side justified wanting to be close to you. And then we got closer and I started to see how bad I actually had it.”

Gavin bites the inside of his cheek. “But you seemed so turned on by me wearing girly clothes.”

Michael smirks. “I guess I didn’t know I was into that either. You made me realize a lot of things.”

Gavin laughs, relieved and shaky. “Oh.”

“But. You don’t care if people know we’re together then?”

Gavin rolls his eyes and smashes their mouths together. “No, you dope,” he says against his lips. “Why would that make me embarrassed?”

Michael shrugs.

“If anything, I’m proud. And really insanely happy.”

“Still boyfriends?” Michael grins.

“Yes, you dipstick. Obviously.” But he says it with the biggest smile. And then he tangles his fingers in Michael’s hair and they’re basically making out and hey, this probably isn’t a very appropriate thing to do in front of a McDonald’s.

Michael presses their noses together. “Wanna drive somewhere?”

“Yes, yeah.”

So they leave their food half-eaten and pull into a vacant parking lot behind a dilapidated building. Gavin crawls into the back seat and Michael kills the engine and joins him.

“Jesus, Gav.” He situates himself between Gavin’s legs and starts dry humping. “I missed you so much.”

Gavin whimpers. “I missed you, too. I’m sorry.”

“Baby, no. This was all my fault.”

Gavin starts to protest but Michael puts a finger over his mouth.

“Let me make it up to you.” He unzips Gavin’s skinny jeans, still holding his gaze, and slides them down his legs. He’s surprised to find a pair of lacy white, practically see-through panties underneath. “Oh my god.”

He strokes the material at Gavin’s hipbone, reluctant to remove them. But after a minute he does, and then his shirt too and now Gavin’s all flushed and naked beneath him and _Jesus_. He props Gavin’s legs on his shoulders and spreads his ass.

Gavin jumps when he feels the warm tongue against his hole. “ _Michael_!”

Michael smirks and teases him with gentle licks. He tastes earthy and clean and so undeniably Gavin. And the noises he’s making are driving Michael wild. He’s hissing and whining and curling his toes. He stares down at Michael through half-lidded eyes, flushed and angelic. As Michael goes deeper, Gavin practically starts purring.

Michael licks him until he’s open and raw and then he withdraws his tongue. “Did that feel good, Gav?”

Gavin bites his lip hard. “Yeah. God, yes.”

“Had enough?”

Gavin shakes his head frantically.

“You want more?”

He nods.

“Then ask for it.”

“Please,” he pants.

“Please, what? Tell me what you want, Gav.”

“Michael, _please_.”

Michael smacks him on the bum. “I said tell me.”

Gavin whimpers. “I want you inside of me.”

“Yeah?”

He nods.

“What part of me? My fingers? My cock?”

Gavin bites his lip.

Michael slaps him again. “Don’t hold back from me, baby. What do you want?”

“Everything!” Gavin gasps. “ _Please_.”

Michael looks thoughtful. “You like making bets, don’t you, Gav?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s make this interesting. I’ll bet you I can make you come with just my fingers.”

Gavin swallows. “What do I get if I win?”

“Then you can get fucked into the seat.”

“…And if you win?”

Michael smirks. “We’ll get to that later. Do we have a deal?”

Gavin nods.

“I don’t have any lube so I’m sorry for this.” He puts two fingers in front of Gavin’s face. “Open.”

Gavin sucks them into his mouth and coats them with spit.

Michael pulls them away and they come out with a pop. He pulls Gavin into his lap and slowly moves his fingers to his hole, teasing the rim. Gavin’s almost ready to pass out from anticipation. Carefully, he starts to push in. Gavin recoils.

“Sh,” Michael soothes. “I know, baby.”

He keeps going, trying to get past the tight ring of muscle, but it’s so much harder doing this dry. Gavin winces away.

“I’m sorry, Gav. I promise it’s gonna feel so much better soon.”

When Gavin finally calms down, Michael continues pushing in. It takes a minute, but then he’s got one finger up there and he starts with the other. After a little more teasing, he’s up to his knuckles. Gavin seems to be doing okay so Michael decides it’s time to move. He gently eases his fingers out and then pushes them back in.

Gavin whimpers. “Michael….”

Michael twists them vigorously.

“ _Michael_.”

“You like that, Gav?”

Gavin nods, eyes squeezed shut.

“Do you do this when you’re alone?” He starts moving faster. “Do you pretend it’s me?”

“Oh god….”

“Do you imagine my fingers stretching you wide and open?” He slows down, doesn’t want Gavin to come just yet.

Gavin starts pushing his hips down, trying to impale himself on Michael’s fingers.

Michael pulls away. “Ah-ah.”

“Michael, _please_ ,” Gavin whines.

“What is it, Gav?”

“I need you,” he says weakly.”

“You need me to go faster?”

Gavin nods his head wildly.

“You want me to finger fuck you until you can barely walk?”

“Please!”

Michael observes the boy beneath him, writhing and panting and begging to be fucked. And as well as feeling majorly aroused because come _on_ , he feels a huge surge of affection. Gavin’s still feverishly trying to get some friction, so Michael obliges. He wriggles his fingers enthusiastically.

“ _Ffffuck_.”

Michael grins. “Is that what you want?”

Gavin bites his lip hard.

“Tell me, baby.”

He squirms. “I’m going to….”

Michael curls his fingers right into Gavin’s prostate. “Come.”

And then Gavin whimpers breathlessly and tenses and comes all over himself at Michael’s command.

Michael smiles down at him, watches the sweat bead up on his chin while he pants to catch his breath. And then he reaches into the glove box and pulls out some crumpled napkins to wipe away the come from Gavin’s stomach, pooling in his bellybutton. He chucks it to the floor and flips them around so Gavin’s lying on his chest. “I really missed you, Gav.”

“I missed you, too,” Gavin confesses through half-lidded eyes.

“I feel so lucky to have you.”

Gavin winds a hand into his t-shirt.

“And I think I’ll just stop existing if I lose you again.”

Gavin swallows nervously. He feels the same way, obviously. But he’s never been good at all the mushy-gushy-lovey stuff, always stumbled over his words.

“So,” Michael says, smoothing a hand over his hair. “The next time I’m being a dickhead, fucking say something.”

Gavin looks up and sees Michael’s easy grin and can’t help but beam back at him. He presses their lips together. “Yeah, well. It’s not such an uncommon occurrence so I might lose track, but. I’ll try.”

Michael laughs and flicks him in the side. “Now about that bet.”


End file.
